brief overview and today

So I took acid a year and a half ago, I'm now coming to terms to what I think has happened. I was never mr everything's sweet I have no problems, but these events shook my core. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, well right now I'm pretty pissed off with how bad my emotional health is, and now I guess is an improvement - I sure as hell haven't been feeling "strong" in a healthy sense. I've been working in trade for around 6 weeks, so that has forced me to learn to "communicate" better with people... I have so many little phrases and ideas I try to use to give me confidence and bounce through things instead of becoming a runaway train of anger or grotesque fuelled anxiety. I'm covering all bases and I'm not giving up. But todays was an idea I got from both a David Icke talk I saw the other day, and some research about catharsis and the primal scream. After a short meeting with a guy to discuss housing arrangements, I was left with the recently common experience of feeling the emotions I have left with the person I was just with, and those emotions being that of mistrust in me, due to me being vacant in trying to hide my "situation". So I drove to an empty deserted street in the hills and quietly said fuck, then a bit louder realising my emotions, and a couple more times. on the way home I was just angrily swearing and trying to release I guess, sounds a bit strange, but I guess I was trying to induce an emotional release. One of many tricks I've been using to get my self in shape emotionally. Now is day 2 of my 30 day sahaj marg challenge that I gave myself yesterday, so I'm off to clean then sleep. 5:30 wake up, run around the block, breakfast, meditate, off to work. try this on for size you fuck parasite. NOT WELCOME